The Garden Part I

Luke 22:39-46

39 Then, accompanied by the disciples, Jesus left the upstairs room and went as usual to the Mount of Olives. 40 There he told them, “Pray that you will not give in to temptation.”

41 He walked away, about a stone’s throw, and knelt down and prayed, 42 “Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.” 43 Then an angel from heaven appeared and strengthened him. 44 He prayed more fervently, and he was in such agony of spirit that his sweat fell to the ground like great drops of blood.^[e]

45 At last he stood up again and returned to the disciples, only to find them asleep, exhausted from grief. 46 “Why are you sleeping?” he asked them. “Get up and pray, so that you will not give in to temptation.”

Danilo Montero, a worship leader, author and speaker said these words that have changed my life.

The events that changed the history of the Universe happened in a Garden. It
It was in a garden where Lucifer betrayed the calling of God and he fell. It was in a Garden where Adam decided to follow his own will and broke us all. It was in a garden where God solved our destiny. It was in a garden where the Son of God was tempted to follow the easy way.
A few hours before Jesus was arrested and hanged to a cross. He would be tortured by the Romans. The calling was very difficult. In the moment that Jesus would give out his spirit, he would not hear the heavenly symphonies. But he would hear the screams of hell itself because that where he would go for love of us. For three he would be in the pit of darkness. For 3 days he would not see the face of His father. But he would only feel the silence of the judgement of God that you and I deserved. Which is why as he prayed in that Garden, he prayed, Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me.
Jesus fought and in the inside he said I want to do the will of God, but as a human he said, it's too much this price there is to pay.
We've heard many times that Jesus suffered this so that you and I don't have to suffer it. But I can tell you something different. I can tell you that Jesus suffered this to open the way. But the way to get character is discovered in the Garden of our lives. Where we decide to do the will of God or do our own will. This is a decision to be made every day of our lives, many times.
I can't fight my battles. Especially does that involve pleasing God. There is no strenght in me. But I see my Master on that rock saying Father, I can't. That's why I pray this cold night. Because in prayer I find my exit. On my kness I find my victory to stand. In Your presence I find the grace to make my heart strong. And when he prayed, an angel was sent. And laying a hand on his shoulder, talked with him for a few minutes. Nobody knows what they talked about, but I've thought a little about this, and I imagine that he said something like this:


"Master, I've been sent to counsel the creator of Wisdom. I've been sent to consol who is
consoling Himself. I've been sent to give strenght to the One who holds the universe together." And with a smile the angel continued, "how could I do such a thing? You made me. You gave me my name. I've served you all this time in the Kingdom of your Father. I respect you so much that I can't even lift my eyes to see the beauty of your face. But I've been sent and us angels we do what we are told to do. And that is why I am here. What could I say to you? Captain of all armies of light. I know you know that in the moment you moan of pain, thousand of celestial soldiers we would come down in a matter of seconds, and we would get you out of here, not before first slaying all your enemies. But you gave us orders that none of us could move one finger in this hour. And although we desire to crush these your enemies, someone has told us that you love them so much, despite they hate you... we can't do anything. I want to tell you one thing, it hurts us to see you fight. If you asked me, I would never let anyone touch you. But you chose this way. And that is why we respect you. You are the Lamb of God. You are the Only one who can open the door. You are the only one, Lord, if you don't do it, they will have no hope. The disgrace of sin will keep them away forever and ever. But you are the Lamb who overcame.

I have named this angel. I think his name is Grace. Because he comes in the moment where you need it the most. Because it comes when we bend our knees and even when it hurts our flesh and pride we say 'I can't' So God takes over. You will not know the grace of God until you are on your knees, until you admit you are only human. You will not receive the strenght of God until you search your own weakness.

So the Son of God stood up, lifted up his hands and said, Father not my will, but yours

In the heart

I don't know why I am so... whatever it is that I'm feeling. A mixture of frustration and aimlessness. The idea that I am going nowhere specifically, and that in no lasting way I am making a difference, other than impressing people here and there by the broadness of my God-given talents, I still feel, nonetheless, unaccomplished and empty.
Like I said, I don't know what the problem is. I am surrounded by people who are extremely talented who I've managed somehow to fool them into the idea that I have lots to offer, this church is virtually infinite in its human, economic and technological resources. I lack nothing and many times I've had abundance that I can spare at my own discretion.
Still, everytime there is a window of silence, be at my room or in the midst of my friends, many times I find myself wondering of nothing at all, just realizing that the abyss that I am throwing myself into gets deeper and deeper, and I don't even know why or how I am doing it.
I am convinced that certainly that devil has something or a lot to do with it. Even I don't give myself enough credit to screw my mind and my emotions so bad. I still have some responsability, but knowing the cause of the problem and even the solution, God, it doesn't make so much of a difference, simply because I don't know what to do.
I am in a place where I am not happy. I long almost every day to be somewhere else. I look in hope and melancholy when I watch videos and hear of ministries anywhere else around the world. I wish all the time I was elsewhere, and at the same time I feel guilty and hate myself that I am so ungrateful with all these people that have been nothing but marvelous to me and that genuinly care for me. I am a horrible person in this matter, still, I also realize, very much human.
I also believe God has a lot to do with this. God speaks and makes himself visible as little as possible at this point, so that I walk by faith that He is still there. My problem is that I always sucked and I still do, at having faith. I am being tempered and tested with acid and fire, and I have the feeling this just got started. In my eyes this is nothing. In my eyes, when God says that if you are faithful in little he will put you in much, this promise is self-updating.
In His eyes certainly everything is little, as far as its 'replacingness' goes. Just as we dismiss a penny because we have 200 dollars, just the same, for Him, the owner of the universe, a big ministry is little in His eyes, yet important. The one thing that is actually small but He holds dearest in His heart, is our heart, my heart.
At this point, this littleness that I am supposed to faithful in, is surely that preface of a bigger picture. But when I get there, if I do get there, that big picture updates itself becoming now small according to the new quest He has in store.

Maybe you can relate to my knowing God's promises and even understanding the simpleness of His kingdom. His promises are pretty simple. When you look at life through a God-driven kind of lenses, things are pretty simple. Black and white. Still, somehow, I just don't get it.

Until I breathe no more

This is a video I did like 2 or 3 years ago. The song is titled Hasta que ya no respire mas, which is Spanish for Until I breathe no more. The chorus goes something like this:

Jesus, Jesus, I want to love you
In the same way you love me
With all of my heart
Jesus, Jesus, bowed to your feet
I want to worship you
Until I breathe no more

The band is Rojo. Probably one of the best christian rock/worship bands right now, still compared to english speaking bands. Of course this is only my humble opinion. Enjoy as much as I did doing it, and watching it every time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBJFe03__qI